A Tale of the Beautiful Swan and the Ugly Duck

It was Monday afternoon when I watched this Netflix Series name A Daily Dose of Sunshine. Not my typical drama to watch, but the plot story had gotten my heart. This drama presents us a big chunk of mental health insight in a most simple way to absorb. I am so much interested when it comes to mental health, since I'm curious not only with the motives that intrigue every human behaviour, but also the feelings behind it.

My favorite lines would come from the first episode, where there is a conversation about happiness between Song Yoo-chan and Jang Da-eun. They were having a night stroll along the Han River, when Jang Da-eun stated her confusion towards her patient, Oh Ri-na. She looks like she has everything; wealth, beauty, popularity, respectful husband but it doesn't make her happy at all. Jang Da-eun described Oh Ri-na's life as the perfect beautiful Swan. Then Song Yoo-chan brought up the answer by saying, maybe she doesn't like to be a Swan. As no matter how much people tell the Swan is beautiful, it won't make her happy if she is more comfortable to be a Duck. He even added, 

Happiness is the freedom to do what you want. 

Does it hit your heart? Yay or nay? For me yay haha.💥

Sometimes I create a complex concept of happiness in my head, I will be happy IF I HAVE this and that. Or I will be happy if I have much money, I will be happy if my love is reciprocated and all. But I was all wrong. Happiness is NOT a reward you gain after owning something. However, happiness is the good memory you create from experience of doing what you want and doing what you love. Therefore, you will only be happy, if you CAN do what you want and love in life.

Personally, this taught me to not lying to myself which I had done for hundred times. As a person who idealize honesty in relationship, it's hypocritical to ask people to be honest with me when I didn't even apply the value itself. I used to ended up doing what others told me to do because it was always been easier than have to fight over small things. Yes, small things. I called it all small things because I thought, okay this time it's fine, I can do what I like next time. Truth is next time is never coming, worst thing is I lost myself. 

After I finished the series, I kept contemplating with myself with multiple questions:

why did I lie? why didn't I do things that I want? why am I being like this?

It feels like you stand on a dark stage with light radiates all over you, being judged by your own thoughts. Then you try to look around to find the answer, but you only left with darkness and dead silence made you fell down hopelessly. Sigh, it's funny, when you think once you become an adult you will be able to do whatever you want because you are an adult. However, the reality of adulting process is you have broken so much without letting yourself broken.

Yeah, I gotta say neglecting my own feeling was one of the main reason I'm like this today, hard to jump onto things that I fond offhand. That was also why I didn't happy for many decisions I made in life, merely few made me happy at the end. So, watching this series is a major reminder to me, to speak up for myself, to be decisive over things that I want, to fight for my life. As if I don't, other people will do it for me.

Okay, let's do a quick check up. Have you chose to be happy today?😄

Hope this article helps. Cheers babe!💫