22 years just to learn this..

To love yourself can be a tough lesson for anyone.. including me.. 

I was not a popular person at school nor someone that could be liked by anyone at the first glance. I had no real friends since I was having a hard time to socialize. It was really hard to overcome it all alone, moreover when you got bad experiences about opening up yourself to people. It went worse at the peak of my high school year. 

After I graduated from high school, I thought going on to different city will give me a fresh start. The ideas of meeting new circle brought butterflies on my stomach for the first time again. But ya, as you can expect it didn't go well anyway. Yes, I kept on meeting new people but still the wrong ones. Now, you maybe questioning why in the world did it happen?

It happened because I didn't love myself. I didn't like the texture of my skin, I didn't like the way I smile, I didn't like the way I talk.. everything was wrong for me. I used to be so hard on myself every time I did a mistake. Nobody is perfect though, but for me the imperfections within myself were unacceptable. All of these thoughts finally drove me to the point where I believe, nobody would want such a person like me. The way I perceived myself as a lousy person that would be only left behind.. gave me nothing but attracted wrong people to come into my life. So, it was not them to be blamed on, yet me. 

At the end of the day, it is about energy. We attrack what we are and it starts from the way we think about ourselves. I remember something from a book says that when we think something bad, it becomes our thoughts and influence us to acting in a bad way too. For instance, this simple thing that happened a lot to me in the past.. I hated having acnes on my face, eventhough it is normal for a teenager.. I said my face was ugly when I look in the mirror.. so I tried to pinch all of the acnes to make it vanishes. But guess what? Instead of making it disappeared, pinching it just added more irritation to my face and postponed the recovery process.

Back to the present.. it takes me 22 years old to learn just to love myself.. to understand that I don't have to give a damn of what people might think or say about me. Now, I know my worth and values.. people's destructive opinions don't matter any longer. 

Loving yourself can sound trivial, but when you do.. it helps to improve every aspect of your life. And I hope you guys can do it better than me.. love and embrace yourself.. as you do it for your loved ones.. 

Hope you are able to do it earlier than me, darling.

Cheers,

Dina.