"Love doesn't bite, unless you love the wrong person.".
Love is pure feeling when emotional connection and physical connection between two persons exist. It makes you feel butterflies in your stomach.. think of him 24/7.. and something feel incomplete when he's not around haha.
But is that it? No.. Unfortunately, it takes more than just a feeling to make the relationship work.
As a woman, you have the gut feeling when you meet a guy and he's the wrong one. You just know that he's the kind of guy who'll break your heart again. If so, why do we always fall with the wrong person? Why do we ignore all the red flags that we've seen in the early stage of relationship? It's simply because we think we can change him as the relationship goes which he doesn't.
This is a thing about guy, girls. When he really loves you, he's going to try in his best to have you. And a guy is a simple human being.. if he's into you you'll know, the same thing applies when he's not into you. Therefore, please don't be a pleaser, begging for someone's love that never exist. You are too valuable to do that. Don't be degrading yourself.
Ya, love shouldn't be like that. I hope you know this to your core.
Now, if you're asking, "Oh, how about the efforts? We have to make effort to make it works, right?"
Yes, my darling you have to. But love in a relationship should be mutual as when it's not you'll feel like all the efforts you do are only one-sided and it is emotional labor not love.
It doesn't matter eventhough the feelings between you both are true, sometimes it can feel so wrong when your goals don't intersect to each other. For instance, this happens often in a relationship when the one partner wants commitment, yet the other party still wants to be a free person. It suffocates you for asking a simple thing that sounds easy for you, but what about your partner? Your partner may think it's impossible to grant your wish as you both have different goal in the relationship.
Want another example? I once read entertainment news, where these actor and actress got married.. they looked like a perfect couple and seemed to have great bound between them. But then, it didn't last forever. They are divorced. And you know what the reason is? Because the actor's mom wants the actress to be a house-mom and of course, the actress rejected it. You see? This problem of 'different goal' in a relationship is actually a thing. Something can be true but feels wrong at the same time.
So, what can we do?
Here is my tip. It might sounds trivial, but this works. Slow down things to get to know your potential partner more before jump into the relationship. It can help you to ensure that your partner goals, values, and beliefs are aligned with yours. This will prevent you from having a daunting relatinship where loving feels like an emotional labor. By being selective it also means you are smart enough to only spend your time with a person who deserves you.
If your relationship now is hurting you more than it cherishes you.. you probably should be considering the relationship again. Always keep in mind that love doesn't bite, unless you love the wrong person.
Cheers, darling.
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